The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
this is a spongebob reference you shits
The Wendigo is a spirit of famine from the folklore of the Algonquian peoples of the Great Lakes and much of Canada east of the Rockies. It is common in Midwestern horror stories and folktales. It is thought of as a malevolent cannibalistic spirit that could possess humans or a monster that humans could physically transform into. Those who indulged in cannibalism were at particular risk,and the legend appears to have reinforced this practice as a taboo.
It is said that in times of famine, any human that is driven to eat the flesh of another person in their hunger may become a Wendigo.
The Wendigo has an insatiable appetite. Whenever it eats a person it grows in proportion to the size of its meal, causing its hunger to grow more and more intense.
Please note that Wendigo are among the unpleasant category of monsters that are summoned by the mention of their name. The middle of Summer is about the only safe time to talk about them out loud. They can also use your name against you- if it’s the middle of Winter, and you hear your name in the howling wind, DON’T GO OUTSIDE. Get a friend to tie you to a bed or lock you in a closet if need be.
HOLY SHIT HOW ABOUT NO